Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"If only you weren't so wishy-washy!"

I'm feeling very conflicted today. Very undecided. Very wishy-washy. And it's not about any one thing in particular. It's about everything. I had a minor panic attack just deciding what I wanted for lunch today. After work, I drove around aimlessly for half an hour because I didn't know where I was headed. And just now, I've created 18 different stations on Pandora.com and haven't even made it through one song yet. 

This happens to me a lot. Sometimes I wish I had someone to make all minor decisions for me just so I could have some peace of mind and focus on more important matters. Because I am usually the most conflicted with the least important decisions, like what pair of undies to wear in the morning, or where to stop and buy a bottle of wine. Or two.  And I always, always have ADD when it comes to music. I'm a song slut. I listen to 13 seconds of one song, 45 of another, and rarely make it all the way through an entire one. It's like I know what I want to listen to and how I want to feel, I just can't seem to find the song that will really work for that moment. And it's worse with food. I will crave something, but never be quite sure what it is, so I'll eat and eat and eat until I find whatever it is that will satisfy my craving. It's a bad, bad habit. But I kind of secretly love it because I kind of not-so-secretly love food. 

So because I'm feeling so random and all over the place today, this blog post will most likely be equally as random. I hope that's okay with everyone. If it isn't, you can file a complaint with the complaints department. But I really wouldn't bother them, they've been working overtime lately.

Station change #19. Peter Bjorn and John. I've made it through 4 songs so far. I may have found a keeper. 

As some of you may or may not know, I have a tiny case of what we like to call "road rage." I'm not an angry person by any means, but get me behind the wheel of a car and all bets are off. You don't even want to know what I yelled at a nun one time. But don't worry, she didn't hear me, so I figure I'm okay with The Big Guy upstairs, right?

Don't answer that.

Anyway, even though I suffer from this nasty illness, I really hate it when people get all road-ragey on me. It makes me feel guilty for making them so angry. It also make me nervous, and when I get nervous I sweat, and I really don't like sweating. When I'm having a road rage moment aimed at someone else, I usually keep it pretty under control. I yell and curse inside the confines of my little car. Sure I might say some incredibly inappropriate things at times (A nun? Hello!) and I've been known to wave The Finger around, but it all happens out of the view of the driver I'm cursing at mercilessly. So when someone else flips out on me, and I can actually see it happening, it makes me squirmy and sweaty and generally uncomfortable. This happened to me this morning. And it wasn't just anybody giving me the stink eye. It was an old dude. In a suit. Driving a brand new Mercedes. Why couldn't it have been some redneck in a rusty pickup? For some reason that would make me feel better because I would sort of expect it. But this guy looked like he knew better. Like this was maybe the first time he'd ever pulled up next to somebody and totally flipped his sh*t all over the place. But judging from the gestures he was making, that was not the case. It almost made me wish that I'd actually done something to deserve all the fuss, I mean, this dude was really putting out some effort for me. And I didn't even do anything to deserve it! I really didn't. No, really. In fact, I was so caught off guard by his honking and flailing about, that I hardly even realized he was there. I just looked at him like the crazy, balding, old fart that he was, looked in the mirror and applied another coat of lip gloss. Which in my mind, means I totally won that battle. 

Graces:
1. WINE
2. A dozen red roses from my Valentine.
3. My fish, Colonel Mustard. And yes, he's still alive!!
4. Using glassware for things other than what they were meant for. i.e. juice glasses for wine, plastic tumblers for coffee, souvenir glasses for fish bowls, etc.
5. Multi-colored pens to color on any random, unsuspecting piece of paper that comes my way.

P.S. Notice that none of my graces are food related today, which might be a first. Well, unless you count wine a food, which I most certainly do not. 

P.P.S.  Can anyone tell me where the title of this blog came from? I know one person who might be able to, if she can dig that far back in her memory. She's really pretty and loves gingersnaps. But no pressure. None at all. =)


1 comment:

  1. I know where the title came from....you told me not too long ago; I asked b/c my mom asked me. Anyway, maybe you don't remember telling me (recently) cause I'm pretty sure you aren't referring to me up there :)

    ReplyDelete