So I've decided to cure myself of my selective amnesia. I'm self-medicating, but without the medications. I'll be an experiment of sorts. Nothing too scientific, just some little tricks I've got up my sleeve. I've always heard that the best way to remember your dreams is to write them down right when you wake up. I tried it for a while (a long time ago) and it seemed to work. Week by week, I'd remember a little more about my dreams, without needing to write it down. So that's where I'm starting with reading. For as much as I read, you'd think I'd know more about literature, or at least be able to finish a Thursday crossword puzzle, but alas, they stump me every time.
I'm hoping my experiment, or whatever it turns into, will also help me cure the ridiculous guilt trips I give myself over books. Yes, I have major, anxiety ridden guilt trips over books. I spent the first part of 2009 reading the first three books of a six book series, and loved it. I dreamt nightly about the stories and sometimes talk about the characters as if they're my friends (and they live in 1700's Scotland!), but after the third book, I cut myself off. I just couldn't take the guilt anymore. I have all these other books just waiting, begging to be read, so why am I spending so much time on one series? I realize that I have my whole life to read all the books I want to read, but I still can't shake the guilt I feel when I pick up a book that wasn't already sitting on my shelf just waiting to fulfill it's life's purpose. Isn't it unfair to Denny and Enzo that while they're speeding down the racetrack in the rain, I'm thinking about Claire and Jamie out running Pirates on their way to Jamaica? I certainly wouldn't appreciate it.
So I bought myself a Moleskin notebook. And I've been making a list of books. Books I've read. Books I started but didn't finish (another guilt inducing habit of mine). Books I completely hated but read anyway. Books I want to read. Books I think my family and friends would like. Anything to do with books, I've got a list for it.
But really, it's just a place for me to remember why it is that I love reading so much in the first place. To remind me that when everything else in my world seems out of whack, a book is always there to take me somewhere else.
So what does all this have to do with cupcakes? Absolutely nothing. Except that I got a new Cupcake book. And there's one thing I've found out about cook books; they don't come with a guilty conscience.